Yourself...

 

Often we don’t know what we want because we haven’t formed an opinion about it on our own. Maybe we haven’t been given the opportunity or been encouraged to think about our own needs, what we want, and more importantly, how to know what makes us tick, and how to express it. 

Perhaps our opinion and/or what we want doesn’t really matter to some people. In fact, they may not even want us to know what we want because it may be counter to what they want. 

We may feel it’s just too selfish to express what we want, that we overthink about ourselves and not enough about others. Or maybe we’re swayed by our social group and so want whatever everybody in our immediate sphere wants.

But, if you think about it, this is really an essential issue at the core of who we are as individuals. How are we supposed to know what others want, to help them realize what they want if we have little or no idea what we want for ourselves first? Of course, we want to be happy personally, but making someone happy often becomes our job, and often a distraction that takes valuable time away from ourselves. 

If partners can balance what they want for themselves with what they want for their partner, that’s a good thing. But often, that’s not the case.