Women go into marriage for the marriage itself. For the woman, it’s a combo, a package deal. You get the house, the cars, the stuff, the kids and the guy. Many complain that they feel they are last on the list, after the kids, her job, her mother, her sister, her friends and Zumba. She can get her needs met in a variety of ways and can have close, intimate relationships with any one of those on that list, not only with him.
For many men, however, the woman is central. They desperately need to feel connected to her emotionally. They also need for their wives to admire and respect them. Women belittle that need, but it exists and it’s true.
Typically, when a man either has an affair or leaves a long-term marriage, the wife is often incredulous. She can’t understand how he could put everything they’d built together at risk. To the wife, the marriage itself has such an intrinsic value. But many men felt that, yes, they were part of it and they went along with it because she seemed to want it so much, but the institution of marriage was not what was keeping him there. It’s his wife that he wants. When she isn't there, it’s not that hard to walk away.
Once his interests migrated, he’s not the man she thought he was and that is the beginning of heart aches.