Dissonance...

Many describe situations in which people find themselves hating the person they love.  

Love and hate are not diametrically opposed.  First, love is broader in scope than is hate. While in hate the object is considered to be basically a bad agent, in romantic love the object is perceived to be both good and attractive. Second, there are many varieties of each emotion, and each kind cannot be the exact opposite of all other kinds of the other emotion.

Our desire for exclusivity arises in romantic love but not in hate. In hate we want to see our negative attitude shared by others. It seems natural that we want to share our negative fortune with others while wanting to keep the positive part merely to ourselves.  

Hating the one we love is possible from a logical point of view. This phenomenon, however, entails profound emotional dissonance.

Zone...

Bills...

Scared...

Programmed...

Impulse

Therapy...

Politics...

Revenge...

When somebody betrays you, resist the urge to retaliate: Getting revenge probably won’t make you feel better in the end, new research from Washington University suggests.

That’s because revenge seems to spark a whole host of contradictory emotions—and not all of them good.

In the study, the participants read a story in which someone sought revenge. Afterwards, they reported feeling positive emotions like satisfied, pleased, and calm.  That’s likely because people believe that an important goal has been accomplished—someone had been punished for doing something wrong,  .

But the story also triggered some negative feelings just as strongly as it did positive ones. People often don’t anticipate having negative reactions to getting revenge. They think it will lead strictly to satisfaction, but it doesn’t.

These negative feelings likely arise because the act of revenge serves as a reminder of the harm the person caused in the first place which makes you feel lousy all over again.

The problem is, that awesome feeling fades quickly, leaving you potentially feeling even worse than before. 

So fight the urge to punch your ex-buddy in the face for steeling your girlfriend.  Both may have been not worth it, Move on.

Poison...

“What does Professor Christine  Blasey Ford gain by bringing forth her accusations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanauagh?”  .

She becomes a feminist icon, her professorship is burnished, she makes a fortune writing a book, enjoys lucrative lecture tours and is hailed a #MeToo heroine

It is wrong to wait over 35 years to denigrate anyone who attended that alcohol-fueled event. If Professor Ford, the alleged victim, is victorious and Judge Kavanaugh’s career and reputation go down in flames, it will hurt women in general. Christine would then epitomize the female predator waiting for an opportunity to strike.

Throughout history, starting with Eve in the Bible, women have been branded dangerous, destructive and scheming. Even the ancient Greeks, the most enlightened, intellectual people of all time, refused to teach women to read, claiming it would be “like giving poison to a snake.”

"The method Professor Ford is using to destroy a man adds credence to the opinion all females are hazardous."[Roz Heid, Baltimore- The Baltimore Sun]

When you seek vengeance, you hurt yourself as well, if not more. You are not going to feel good about hurting someone regardless if it is warranted or not. Your anger toward this person will only increase if you preoccupy yourself with revenge. ... “The best revenge is just moving on and getting over it.